rambling

i have stopped blogging for quite sometimes now, and today i decided to fix my desktop to use it (after living a whole year without a computer). so i posted a new blog entry, then suddenly i remember that i had an adsense account. geez so long till i forget~

so today, i was surprised to see that my adsense still generating a stable amount for me. gosh i should have not stop blogging :P

so now i remember that i have not only 2, but more blogs around. i understand how search engine helps in generating traffic, i just forgotten that i had more than one blog. kick me~

Great year ahead

i didnt blog much these days. the last time i posted an entry was in 2009, and i am still wondering if i should just ignore writing this one.

heck, why not?

a year, that's the duration since i am attached with my new company. flying everywhere around asia and gulf countries is fun when i get to see many places, understand many ways of communicating with people regardless of language.

sadly, i havent got myself a new dslr camera, yet. that said, all my travel is wasted for not being able to capture every moment while i was away. borrowing is not an option.

whatever it is, i dont see i'm having a new camera for the next one year. 2010 has been a huge challenge for me that i have to learn what's wants and what's needs. to understand what scarcity is.

let's pray for a better future.

good year, 2009

wrapping up what i had gone through this year. i know December is still a week away, but i feel like writing it now.

the year started with a chance of Performance Bonus!

i was so happy to have received my 3.2 months bonus early this year, then I bought a DSLR camera as a reward for my own self.

having this camera in hand, it leads to a hobby - photography. since last January, I had at least went out once a month for photography sessions with friends, colleagues, and other forum members. it was awesome. until i found myself busy editing pictures all day long, then I start to realize this hobby has slowly develop my photography and photo-editing skills. months gone by, just because of DSLR, i have gone to outside malaysia and some other states in malaysia, which i have never done before.

there were many years gone before 2009, but i have never stepped in to penang, perak, kedah and many other states. i never even own a passport to have visited to other country. but today, only in this year, i have visited many, all with the reason of photography.

pictures collections are thousands, and I have upgraded my dslr for 3 times.

but today, it has been a month now since i sold my camera. it was kinda sad to have it sold.

for one reason. I have got a new job, and I am quite desperate in need of cash to support my training period. therefore I have no choice to let it go.

soon, it will be mine again.

this year is almost to an end, and I will start the new job in december.

good year started with good news, and end with even better news for me.

silly to have crush on you

i am trapped in love that wasnt supposed to live in me. it's you! day and night it kept me thinking how i wish i can be with you all the time. but i know it's not possible. so kill me now and let me leave in peace..

or hate me and let me be myself again, and stop dreaming of you.

pinch me to have me awake, so i could live again without you in my head. only you can give me the strength to have live again. you

kiss me now and together we will stuck in my dream. so kiss me not

happy father's day

it's a father's day...

i dont know how should i say this, simply, cause i never had a chance to even see my father. never in my life..

*sob*

nutty

ouch i am not in a good time. this month is the worst i ever experience. i did not settle any of my job but one, i was not paid for everything, i am penniless, and not to forget i still have about 8 days to go, before Jun come.

working as an employee is okay, just that i never have a freedom. not like when i do my full-time freelance job. doing freelance is just nice.. but yeah i have to struggle to find my job to earn cash. otherwise i'll be sitting doing nothing. but one thing about freelance, one job is enough to cover one month expenses.. isn't that good?

i am considering on my current job as an employee.. preparing myself with a better skill and good portfolio, then i'll quit my job, focusing on my hobby to be a full-time freelancer. market is world-wide, just have to be well enough in marketing. strategy is one thing that i must plan carefully, to make sure i will never regret and never want to turn back.

making a decision is quite hard isn't it?

mother's day

well you know, mother's day, and we call it "hari ibu" in my language (malay). believe it or not, i have never celebrated the day for my beloved mom. love her i do, but never celebrate any for her, not even her birthday. am i bad? or am i just too bad to be her son?

i do have the feeling of wanting to celebrate one of these days for her, to show my love, and to prove that i actually love her as my only mother. but yeah, even i cant explain why i never celebrate one. perhaps, i should do something now. but, can anyone help me? would it be weird to my mom if this is my first time celebrating for her? will she be proud, happy, or just curious?